The following awkwardly worded newspaper headlines and funny lines of text were sent to me by a Charleston resident who wants to keep a low profile, or, maybe, wants no association with Column Fodder:

A whimsical number titled "London Derriere" was played by Stein as his salute to St. Patrick's Day.

How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Mary Anne Hunter.

HOSIERY

Statewide, students performed extremely poor on the writing section of the exam.

Police officer Avery Williamson relied on intuitive judgment when he exposed himself to an armed suspect who had abducted two children. The gamble paid off when the man surrendered.

Six men, their faces covered with red bandannas, got out of a Cherokee carrying a knife, baseball bat, billy club, and rolling pin, said Davis, 20. "I knew when I saw the rolling pin that something bad was going down," Davis said.

We note with regret that Mr. Kramer is recovering after his serious operation.

TWO TEENAGERS INDICTED FOR DROWNING IN LAKE

The bride carried a bouquet of spring blossoms as well as the three bridesmaids.

Queen Elizabeth arrived in Paris to begin a visit that inspired the warmest welcome the French have given a royal figure since they guillotined their own Queen Marie Antoinette.

Garden club members heard a talk on bugs and roaches. A large number were present.

AN AMERICAN TEENAGER GIVES BIRTH EVERY 20 MINUTES

Twice a bridegroom and finally a bride--at least for last night--was Suzanne Grazzione.

Wednesday afternoon, when Ruby Chesterfield stopped by to deliver supplies for the church kitchen, she encountered a young man in the process of robbing the food cabinets. After an extended chase all over the church, she finally caught him by the organ.